Finding Rest in Christ

There is something special about alone time.

Getting out of the hustle and bustle of the world and just being alone. Unplugging so you can plug-in. Its interesting how even the most extraverted individuals still need time to focus in on the self and who God, in His image, made us to be.

As I have gotten further into my adventure on adulthood I have learned that I am much more introverted than I even really imagined I would be. I seem to get worn out from the most every day tasks if they mean that I am going to be around people. And yet at the same time. I am filled to my very top when I am around others. Interesting.

And as Christians, we desire to honor God and serving Him by sharing His word with others. Yet, that seems so far fetched when it takes all of your energy just to get through the work day, classes, or social events you are expected at.

But a wonderful gift I have found in the Bible is the God wants His children to have rest.

Mark 6:31 And He said to them. “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many where coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat.

What a beautiful gift that God desires for us to rest. That even in His greatest commandment to go and share of His wonders He still desires rest for His children.

As I have come over verses in the bible that speak of rest I have come to realize that even in my greatest attempt to honor and please Him. I have failed to take time to “go off to desolate places and rest”. Sure I sleep at night, and yes I do my best to take time every day with Him. But am I really going off and intentionally resting? No. I am still smack dab In the middle of the hustle and bustle of life.

And that’s okay. We are called to go out into the world and make disciples. But darling, we are also called to rest.

A simple afternoon in a small bookstore in Geneva was a perfect getaway to leave me filled up for the rest of the week

Okay, so I have come to the conclusion that I am awful at resting. Now what?

Psalms 46 tells us to “be still” but oh how difficult it is the be still in the midst of the chaos of day to day life.

But maybe its just that. That yes we need to be able to find peace and rest In Christ no matter where we be physically. But we also need to go off and find peace in the peacefulness of going off into quiet places.

There are many times that Jesus goes off, both individually and prays to His Father. Are we not any different?

Okay maybe we cant go to a mountain top and pray. But we can go off to “desolate places”. For me, its looks like night time drives out to the country. With the intentionally purpose of prayer. Or finding a small coffee shop outside of my town were I can be by myself. Both to spend time in God word or even just to rest. To read a book, or go candle shopping. Maybe it looks like going on a walk or a hike in an area you wouldn’t usually be in your day to day life.

My January list of ways I would like to find rest within the next few weeks.

There is no set expectation of what that looks like. But God desires it for you.

Child, rest.

Because that’s the wonderful thing. That no matter how old and into “adulting” we think we are (and I say this as I JUST enter adulthood) we are still God beloved children. And just as a mother and father desire rest for their kids, God desires rest for His children.

Whom He loves oh so dearly.

January 10, 2020January 10, 2020 by Sarah Howell Categories: Faith, life, Mental health, UncategorizedTags: bible, christianity, Faith, family, friends, grow, joy, learning, life, nature, peace, quiet, quotes, relationships, rest, school, work Leave a comment

“Sometimes Bad Things Happen to Good Travel Plans”

We have all heard the saying “sometimes bad things happen to good people.” We have all, most likely, questioned that as well. Especially growing up in the church.

One of the first question I had as a young child was simple, and yet oh so hard to answer. “Why, does a God that is so good, let such bad things happen?”

It’s a question that so many have, and yet is so hard to answer.

A few weeks ago I was blessed to get to go visit with people of whom I hold near and dear to my heart. I was able to wake up to gorgeous views and listen to birds chirping and streams flowing. It was a dream come true. And yet the travel? Ha, that’s a different story!

Going to my destination my flight was canceled due to, in the lovely words of the flight attendant, “rapidly deteriorating weather.” My flight I was rebooked to took me two hours further from my original destination and didn’t land me on the ground until 3:15 in the morning. My flight returning home? Well here is the email I received the night before my original flight.

 

They were right, bad things happened to my good travel plans. The flight was canceled the next morning, and I was not pleased. To make my experience a tad bit more fun, my flight that I was rebooked to was delayed; leaving me ready to drop my bank account and rent a car to drive the twelve hours.

The flight went out and I got back alive, with only a moderately intense fear of planes! So I counted it a success.

But the internal battle that came as a result of those travel plans? That fear and anxiety that came as a result of the unknown, the struggle, and the inconvenience. That was a learning experience that has shaped me since my return.

My world was shattered with fear. From the minute I got those text messages, I was rocked with anxiety, of the unknown, and guilt of the burden I was putting on those around me.

Thankfully I was blessed in those moments; I was surrounded with people whom were speaking truth to me. People who knew my heart and the crazy way my mind can fumble. And they guided me.

They sat me down, and spoke some reality into my wondering soul.

“You don’t have anything that you HAVE to be home on time for. There is no big thing that you are missing by being here another day.”

“Let’s be joyful that we get an extra day together!”

He was totally right with this one, who can be upset about spending an extra day with this amazing view!

And these stellar people!

“You WILL get home eventually and it will be ok!”

Simple. Simple truths, of which changed my perspective on that, and many more situations.

Not that anxieties should go without notice, never let your anxiety go without notice, but the freedom you can find from telling your brain that it isn’t life or death? That’s something beautiful.

That break-up you are going through, oh that overwhelming pain you are feeling? It will pass, you will find the soul God desires you to be with. Give it time, dear friend.

That test that you failed? Ha! Been there a few weeks ago…it won’t break you. You can still graduate on time and keep that scholarship, go into office hours, learn from your mistakes, and study harder next time!

You see, bad things happened to my good travel plans. And it was awful. Nobody is trying to deny it.

Bad things happen to good life plans too. Nobody is trying to deny that.

I will be the first person to tell you that! But, as cliché as it may sounds, it is the point of view and the trust you have In our Lord, that will shape you weeks, months, and years from now.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.my friends, will be ok. No matter the pain you are feeling now.

 

 

 

March 25, 2019 by Sarah Howell Categories: Faith, life, Mental health, UncategorizedTags: anxiety, blessed, christian life, christianity, church, Community, depression, Faith, family, friends, growth, learning, life, love, Mental health, nature, relationships, struggles Leave a comment

A lifelong retreat high, and a newfound family in Christ.

Growing up a Christian I often experience the retreat high. The overwhelming feelings of empowerment that comes with spending an extended period of time with God and people that share a love for Him.

It’s wonderful!

And then you come home…and you get back into the swing of reality. The test scores come back, the friends that test your faith become present in your daily life again, and in all the chaos of daily life; diving into Gods word and spending time with Him can start to feel like just another thing to get done.

It is a routine I almost got used to when it came to the days following retreats.

Until this past weekend.

Since coming to college God has blessed me profoundly. I will forever be grateful for the people I grew up with, some of which will forever be a part of my life. But I will forever praise God for the people he has placed in my life in DeKalb.

People that I didn’t even know existed two months ago have grown to be my family, the people I “do life with”.

I grew up in a church were I never truly felt I belonged. I had great friends and I grew a lot as a Christian growing up there. But it seemed as if I was just going through the motions. I did grow to have a more profound relationship with God due to the efforts of one particular couple of which will forever be a part of my life. But I never felt a true connection to the people I saw when I walked in those doors, I lacked the feeling of being a church family. The love was there. Man did I love those people, and I still do. But there was little to know knowledge of the things that their life consisted of outside of the wall of that church.

Yes I saw them on Sundays and some on Wednesday but that was it. There was very rarely just nights spent just doing life with each other. And in a church that I grew up in I often felt like just a number on a list.

The love I have for the people in my home church is rooted deep, and they will always be a part of my life. But very few of them knew my life, rather where just a part of it. Coming and going in my life as the seasons changed.

But then I came to this church where I wasn’t just a number, but rather made to feel a critical part of the church family. When I walk in people notice, and when I miss a service or event people reach out sending good regards and hopes that everything is well.

I was greeted with prayer that I had never received in such an empowering manner. People laying hands on my back and praying for me then and there, saying all the right things at all the right times.

I was faced with times of worship that brought me to my knees, filling my eyes with tears week after week.

I was invited to events by people that had an aching soul to get to know me better.

A weekly, daily, hourly, retreat high.

And then I went on a retreat, and so out I drove three hours with a group of people that had been strangers only two short months ago and I was comfortable. And I was brought to my knees in awe and worship for God. I was filled with joy as people began to outwardly express themselves to the Lord and hands where placed on shoulders everywhere I looked, praying the love of God over these people that I have grown to love more than I do myself at times.

I was convicted, brought to my knees unable to do anything other than bellow out the tears my soul had been holding in for years, sorrow for my sins and Praise for my Lord.

Photo taken by Kathryn Ferdon

Days later I was yet again brought to tears at the love I was shown by the people God placed in my life. People that showed me great mercy when anyone else could have easily turned their backs. Grace.

Again.

Again.

My soul overwhelmed in Gods presence, and yet still wanting more.

You see, I have realized that while the three days spent purely worshiping God are days that helped mold me as a Christian, I have also come to the realization that the life God has blessed me with is truly a life long spiritual high.

The love I have been shown and the ways that God has moved in my life are impactful beyond my comprehension. And while I will forever hold on to the gratitude I have for the people and the church I grew up with, I will forever be grateful for Brightfield Church and the family I have made and continue to form.

I now have hope in every day, that God has a plan.

I only pray that you know the same.

November 6, 2018 by Sarah Howell Categories: Faith, life, UncategorizedTags: christian, christianity, church, college, Community, Faith, family, friends, grow, learning, life, love, nature, relationships, school, views, work Leave a comment

Change is truly just a blessing in disguise.

Change.

Merely saying the word bring a profound sense of discomfort to my soul.

We live our whole lives in fear of it and yet we know it is inevitable no matter how long you push it off.

So you can imagine the earthquake my soul felt when my mom stepped foot into her car to drive away after dropping me off at college just a few short days ago.

The lady that has loved me unconditionally from the moment I came into this earth, the lady that held me as I cried, and cried with me. The women that had been by my side for all my firsts drove away and I was left to fend for myself in what seemed to be a whole new world.

And I cried. I walked up to my dorm, mopping my cheeks clean of the tears I had failed to hold back no matter how strong the effort, realizing that I was on my own. With nobody but myself as my best resort.

Sure I knew people. I am blessed with an Aunt and a cousin whos love and support is just steps away. And I was gifted a roommate who knew the answers to the questions I was dying to ask and was there to remind me of all the things I needed to accomplish to be a successful student.

But I still felt alone.

And they tell you (all the adults, I mean the adult adults) that the best way to fight the loneliness is to fight the urge to stay in your room. Get out and meet people.

And so I did, and I stumbled upon two other freshmen in my living area. Two girls who had the same fears of the first day of school and were fighting the same sadness of leaving home. Two girls who shared the same love for God.

And then I met a third.

And as Sunday rolled around we trotted into church. And talk about a blessing being placed in your lap. A church of people that had all left the comfort of their own homes and jobs to move to a town full of young adults desperate for someone to love them.

It was their first ever service and my three friends and I sat in awe of the handiwork they God had done. And that evening we were invited to dinner by two individuals with a heart for God and a heart for sharing their home (and homecooked meals) with some lost college students. And then we were invited to join a small group hosted by the pastor of the church.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Blessings. 

And so Tuesday came. And we walked into a house that was already a home. Full of love and laughter and hearts that wanted to share Gods word. My heart was aching for a God moment. You know? Those moments people say when they can feel God speaking to them through the love of another’s, or a moment of self recognition. I sat and talked to these people that had dropped everything and left their lives for the Kingdoms cause and I felt overwhelmed with Gods love. These people who hadn’t known me for more than an hour where reminding me that I am loved and that I am not alone.

They were grieving my heartaches of the struggles of a new beginning with me and we where laughing and enjoying life together and I felt that love.

Blessings.

And then a lady pulled me aside. (For the purpose of confidentiality I will leave her name out)

She asked if she could pray for me and I said of course. She put her hand on my shoulder and prayed for me. And as she prayed, I wept. And as I wept I felt the love of God through her hand on my shoulder.

Blessings. 

Now, I’m not saying that I am set for college. Those fears are still there. I still woke up this morning with knots in my stomach of the unknowns and the anxieties of being away from home, and yet in the mists of it all I feel peace.

God doesn’t really give us reasons on His actions. (He’s God, He doesn’t really need to).

And He doesn’t always do what we would like. But if I have learned anything in the three days of college education I know have it is that if you just let go of the crippling need to stay inside your comfort zone then God will give you the strength and you will truly soar on wings like eagles.

August 29, 2018August 29, 2018 by Sarah Howell Categories: Faith, life, Mental health, UncategorizedTags: adult, change, christianity, church, college, dekalb, Faith, family, friends, friendship, grow, learning, life, love, Mental health, nature, new starts, niu, relationships, school, work Leave a comment

Time is more than just minutes.

There are so many sayings about it.

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“It has been said, time heals all wounds” -Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

Time passing is one of lifes’ few guarantees.

Life never stops. There is no pause button. No rewind or fast forward. There is just time. Every sixty seconds in a new minute every sixty minutes in a new hour, and every twenty-four hours is a new day. That is never going to change.

In a world full of uncertainty it is rather nice to know that no matter what changes the sun with rise in the morning and set in the evening. But sometimes it can be a real pain. We often wish the world to pause for a week while we mourn the loss of loved ones. We crave to go back to our childhood, or the days when life was a simpler place. We yearn to skip the days of the early morning classes and the late night study sessions, wishing to jump to the good part when we are really living our life.

It’s a nice set of dreams, but it isn’t reality.

I recently turn eighteen, in sixteen days I will be graduating high school and in three months I will be starting college. I now make monthly car and phone payments and will begin working a full time job this summer. It seems as if my childhood has merely disappeared before my eyes, leaving me nothing but distant memories. And while I celebrate my newfound freedom I mourn the loss of when life was easy.

It’s a balance.

Time truly is a balancing act. Managing it, enjoying it, and trying with all our might not to take advantage of it.

As I have gotten older I have noticed that my view on time has changed. I used to view life as a great adventure. Everyday a new page full of things to discover and as I grow and work my way into early adulthood I view each day as a ticking time bomb, and the only way to stop it is to get a list of stuff done.

Make that appointment.

Finish that project.

Fold that pile of laundry that has made a home on my bedroom floor.

I am happy but I am not enjoying the here and now. I do my school work and I eagerly await college because I know that what comes after I will love with all my heart. I am enjoying the outcome that is merely years away.

And that, that is no way to live your life.

I recently stumbled upon a quote that has since changed my perspective.

 Don’t spend more than five minutes being upset about something that isn’t going to matter in five years.

Not more than three hours after this verse was brought to my attention a friend asked me to join her in a hike to a hammocking spot.

Automatically I thought that it would be a waste of my time while I value spending time with my friends I would rather do something productive together, like shopping or preparing for things to do, but I agreed as I knew it was of importance to her to get out and enjoy to sun.

Since that day two weeks ago I have since gone hammocking with her twice and alone once.

There is something about the wind and the fresh air. The sound of birds chirping and the water flowing that completion of any task, no matter how big or small can beat.

May 2, 2018May 2, 2018 by Sarah Howell Categories: Faith, life, Mental health, UncategorizedTags: Faith, life, nature, time Leave a comment